Why being empty is not a sad thing
As I arrive in Australia to settle into my new life, I find myself feeling strangely empty. My initial reaction is that this is a sad feeling and is connected to lacking somehow. Then I remember my wish in Maui to be open to receive.
Your soul's home
It's been 8 years since I've been to Maui. The place where I set my future for retreats even though I was a lawyer at the time, deep inside me it has always been my soul’s home. Intuitives often comment that I am Hawaiian at heart (and body).
We arrived in Maui this August and an instant feeling of peace washes over me. I am home. As someone who thinks, decides, acts and lives at a fast pace because I want to experience everything in life, to go slow for me is a challenge - a miracle feeling. To find peace and silence without a desire to do things is rare and very special magic.
With a hurricane threatening to hit us, we were advised to stay local. I do some work, but mostly I want to amuse myself. I feel myself letting go of all my business ideas, plans for work, I noticed that none of my usual thousand ideas a minute have stopped flowing.
The immediate satisfaction of this peace is often what is loved about being on holiday. A break from the norm where things can be reassessed and perspective shifts occur. I am not ‘on holiday’ my life is always a balance of holiday and work because I love this way of living, suddenly I seem to be ‘on holiday’ before my new life begins.
Finding a roof
Arriving back in Sydney and we have to find a roof over our heads. As people always living in tiny spaces with little stuff of travellers, we begin by looking at shared flats. Initially, the prospect seems great and then I realise - I'm no longer in a retreat venue. The city is busy and I know I need space for my daily practice and to video for my online clients. I need a bigger home. But our budget is of travellers not that of a city life.
Stress builds and choices begin to seem limited. A lesson that we learnt in Maui together was acting when stressed about the future. Slow down! I want to make the right decision and start my life in Sydney with the best alignment possible.
Since my accident, I have never worried about a roof over my head. So much love and generosity were given to me in supporting my recovery, it has left me with complete confidence that I can always find a roof over my head.
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be: Sydney. This knowledge helps me. My instinct never fails if I allow it and have faith in waiting for it to materialise. Ideas begin to flow and the possibilities of solutions are discussed.
House viewings are empty spaces
I find myself walking into many empty spaces. As I walk between the empty space I notice this empty feeling inside me. Emptiness is often connected to the experience of depression when you cannot feel anything in all your experiences. Life is to be full of experiences and emotions surely?
I recall that feeling of emptiness from depression. This is the same and yet different. I am enjoying the house viewings, my hikes and gym classes. Like depression, I am doing my administrative tasks for visa application and house hunting, alongside managing my business. I am not revelling in any of it, but carrying it out. I go to the gym.
Two hours later I come out. The emptiness is space. I have space inside me. I realise, I am ready to be filled. I remember my blog post on humility where I explored the tai chi concept of empty. I have come to Sydney with no preconceptions, no ideas or ways that this life is to turn out. I have no expectations about this new adventure. I am an empty vessel waiting to experience, like space in my blog post on this element.
Intentions create the experience
My instinct ‘to do’ is trying to kick in. What must I ‘do’ to create this new life? It is my responsibility to create my life, right? has always been my error, so I am learning and opt to do the necessary administrative tasks and otherwise focus on enjoying myself.
Depression is a form of empty. I used to fill it with despair by acting quickly and unconscious intentions of fear that my life would lack in money, love or security if I did not act. After a few time-outs in my life I seem to be getting the lesson...set conscious clear positive intentions to raise my vibrations for a more joyful life.
Intentions are how to fill your life and create the experience of your life. It is my intentions that will fill up my emptiness. I set my intentions this new phase in Sydney, it is for a life that fills me up with:
unconditional love that I can share,
enjoy my time and connections with open-hearted, minded and spirited souls,
time to enjoy the physical experience of my body, it’s sensations and the world around me,
receiving the abundance and wealth of all the world can offer,
feeling stable and secure yet free to explore and grow as I choose (including travel still lots),
sharing love, my gifts and support others in empowering their most aligned and joyful life, and
happiness, laughter and love, so much love for healing others, and hopefully the world.
Share my intentions. Join me with making a worldwide change. Connect with me - there are so many ways!