Expanding Into Yourself


My intention for 2017 was "To expand into my True and Fullest Self". The plan was to join the 'wanderlust' of living on retreats as I follow the sunshine and all year over 30 degrees celcius. Almost at the end of my year living on retreats many people ask and are intrigued by my new lifestyle.

"Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life"

When a client said to me "You're always on holiday", and I honestly responded "I'm always on holiday and always working".  This suits my workaholic Nid self and new self. I always thought that there was still effort in this idea.  That regardless of my love for what I did, I had to do stuff.

As I have worked on my workaholism, I discovered that the only thing that stops me from working is sunbathing.  This makes my physical environment vital to how I manage my non-working self: ‘bikini lifestyle only’. Yet, retreats are busy environments behind the calm exterior for clients. Often large shifts are happening for the clients and these impact the workers too, because we are all reflections of ourselves you find yourself supporting amidst your own deepening.

In Greece, this summer I began experiencing more migraines from over-working and holding other’s energy.  I took on far too many massages in the enjoyment of how my energy work was expanding. Carried away with the buzz of what I was experiencing, I failed to take adequate time to rest, digest and grow.  My body did what all our bodies do best: it shut me down!

I learnt to release and return energy that was not mine. It gives me greater strength to hold a group and sustainable energy for myself. This new self-care regime opened me to different aspects of how I perceive and work with people. Aware of my deepening intuition to guide my energy and self-care, I can support others when they are unaware of their need to connect inward and how to do this.

For all I do in my life now is cyclical: my self-care deepens into my work with all my clients and interactions with others.  I am in love with my new life and its endless unfolding as I experience it.

Changing It Up

Back in Costa Rica, I have a desk-based role as a writer of the yoga retreat's blog. It is weird to sit for so many hours again and I notice the addiction to being mentally 'on' is stirred up. Morning meditation at 4:55am for 1 hour 20 minutes gets increasingly hard as my mind is more stimulated with writing ideas, esoteric aspects of yoga to digest all around me and less physical or energetic work. So, I look to my new resources - my 'Animal Spirit' cards and read Lao Tzu on 'The Way of the Tao" to remind me to focus on my calm.

This year has been one of building my tool kit. I have expanded as a yoga teacher, massage therapist, reiki healer and writer. This constant change of role means that I get to enjoy all the things I love in focused blocks of time. There is no juggling all my interests and talents, but dedicated time for each. I immerse myself at each place fully into the present moment of what I am expanding into. Each role and place stirs up different layers I am shedding. Each place I feel brighter, lighter and more vibrant. I sense the momentum of my future building and my resilience expanding.

My Full Self

The reality is that I can never expand into my 'true and full self' because that would mean I was no longer of this world. But, as I plan for 2018 and requests for retreats in 2020 begin, I realise that I have arrived into my new life. I can feel when I am making a good decision for me. Others seem to see me in a way I am humbled by – I genuinely don’t know anything about anyone else! I am excited about my life now, and for my future. Anything I want is possible. I just focus myself on what will work logistically and gets me feeling ‘bubbly’.  I trust that the money will find its way to make what I can share possible. I have faith that if I stay aligned to decisions that always make me feel joyful and peaceful, then I know I will be abundant, prosperous and full of joy!

I am developing a program to share with others that mixes all my skills and experience. An online program to mentor others through life changes. When it is ready to present I will share more! Until then, join me on retreat, workshops or online to share the fun ride!